Handy Home Hints: How to Clean Like a Man

We found this post by the Art of Manliness so hilarious, we had to share!

It's aptly called, "How to Clean Like a Man" - by Joe Weber

Part of becoming a man is picking up after yourself. Your mum used to do that for you. Being a man means doing it yourself. You could be the best dresses guy in town with an endless bankroll, but if your home looks like a 14 year old lives there, you're dead in the eyes of women. But taking pride in cleanliness isn't just about attracting the ladies. Keeping your place clean strengthens your discipline and attention to detail, keeps your home organised and productive, and simply makes you feel good.

Here's the five steps you should consider following to clean your place quickly and efficiently - like a man.

Step 1: Crack a beer and put on some loud music.

There's no way around it. The next 45-90 minutes won't be fun. Might as well enjoy a decent beer and listen to your favourite album while you're at it. Loud and fast-tempo music will help keep the boredom awa. High alcohol brews will make the experience more tolerable, so try something heavy.

Step 2: Put all the clutter away.

No sense in cleaning around the clutter. Your place will still look like a pit if you do. The stack of mail, the shoes you took off while watching the game, the bottles that never got taken out after poker night. Clean it all up. Spend at least ten minutes doing this.

Step 3: Dust using a Static Duster.

What a revolution static dusters have brought. Not unlike the evolution of toilet paper, the static duster is the third and greatest leap in cleaning technology for its category. The feather duster just pushes dirt around. An old sock or rag with pledge is a mess. Use the static duster on everthing from wood to electronics. Don't doubt it. It works. Pick things up and dust around them. Don't dust around.

Step 3.5: Crack another beer.

Stay with the heavy brew. This ain't over.

Step 4: Vauccum. Everything. And consider investing in a Dyson.

Approach your vacuum purchase like you would your premier pair of dress shoes. Sometimes it's worth the extra money if you can spend it. If you can't? No pressure. But don't skimp on the vacuum purchase if you have the cash and especially if you have a dog or three.

Vaccum everything. Counter tops. Outer edges of tiled floors. Your clothes.

Step 5: The Bathroom.

Who knows why men avoid cleaning their bathrooms. I do it for whatever reason too. Out of sight, out of mind, no? You open the door, you do your business, you flush and wash your hands (most of the time), and the door gets closed again. Too bad it's a deal breaker for most women if your bathroom is disgusting. Here's a fail-safe plan to make your bathroom woman friendly.

Vacuum anything that's not wet. Apply solid layer of toilet bowl cleaner to bowl and let sit. Wipe down mirror with paper towel and glass cleaner. Wipe down sink. Scrub toilet and flush. Clean outside of toilet from tank, seat to rim (in that order). Flush.

Done. Finish the beer. Consider a third.